KICKING AND SCREAMING

It's that time again! We get to play musical chairs! I'm just getting used to being in my courtroom. I've just developed a deep appreciation for the way things are set up in there. I know where everything is in my office. I've just figured out those jokes that the bailiff tells, and, wham, it's all going to change.

At this time of the year something wild happens at our courthouse. Judges are coming back from Timbuktu, satellite courts, or whatever, and others are assigned out. With them comes and goes their entire staff, or not. Some are left behind, thrown into the sea of unknown assignments. It just all feels so inconvenient, so hard, so scary.

Change. Why does everything have to change? Why can't things just stay the way they were? It's as if work wasn't already tough enough. Maybe there's another question to consider. How can I become more flexible and just go with the flow?

Isn't my work life a metaphor for life in general? Am I forgetting that I really have a choice in the matter. I can go kicking and screaming or I can just relax and see what's behind the spooky door of shift and change. I can hold my head up and just walk through, taking only one step at a time, and not just hope. I can actually be confident that there is something good for me that awaits, something that I would not have experienced had I not said yes to the whole transition.

In this whole transition, I can still remember what remains stable: My attitude still determines my day. The way I show up at work still contributes to and creates my work environment. And, of course, I still remain grateful that I am employed can enjoy the benefits of having a job when the unemployed line is growing longer every day. What remains true is that I'm still in control of my response to life, my response to change. Instead of harboring some inner resistance and holding my breath, this time I think I'll just relax and allow it to happen.

ROLLA COASTA!

Money, Finances, Income, Transcripts – Whew! This sometimes feels like a rollercoaster. I love this job…until tax season or until there’s seemingly another effort to “save the budget” and get rid of our profession, or even until the transcripts are not coming as much as they “used to.”
What is that about? What am I in this for? What am I still willing to put in, although opinions and seasons come and go? I am clear. I appreciate this work beyond all those passerbys. I am making a pact with myself today - - to stop worrying about all of that “stuff.” I’m giving myself over to taking one day at a time and filling each moment with touching the lives of those who get that final product of mine. Everyone can depend on that final product. So can I. And for me, the final product is that I’ve, once again, done a great and necessary job.

98 PERCENT IS PERFECT!

Today as one attorney handed me back something that needed to be corrected, I am proud to say that that did not register in me as anything “wrong with me.” I didn't kick myself or criticize myself or see myself lacking in any way. I am proud to say my mind immediately went to when I was a a child and my Grandmother would write letters to me. In those letters there was always included at the bottom a simple statement, “Excuse all mistakes..”

Hey, it’s just a mistake. It doesn't mean anything more than that. I owned it, and life goes on. I am on the step-ladder and moving upward. I am growing. I am learning . I'm getting better at this job every day, as I continue to add words to my dictionary.

Why have we always expected perfection in ourselves ? Why are we so hard on ourselves and unforgiving for an untranslate or two or that imperfectly spelled name that appeared on a transcript?

Even the State Board in California expect 98 percent accuracy. They allow us a little room to be human. We're allowed to make mistakes! Yea! I am grateful for this memory.

MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL.....

Exhibit No. 5

Today I realize it’s not about what “they” say while testifying in that chair. It’s not about what "he" says or" she" says while sitting in that place of honor in a black robe. It’s not about what they say from that questioning position. It’s all about what I say.

What do I say about who I am? And what do I say about my self-worth and my value in the courtroom and everywhere else in the world that I find myself?

I know that who I am is so much bigger than what I do as a professional career. I know that my talents go way beyond what my teammates even see. But while I choose to do the work, it's up to me to see myself, value my own presence and identity and role. I am not depending on others to see that for me. “Mirror, mirror, on the wall…….”

PLAYTIME!

Looking at my desk, on one side I have pencils, pens, a calendar and copy paper. I have a three-hole punch, stapler and paperclips. Oh, and then I see jacks and a ball. I have fairy dust left over from last Halloween, and affirmation cards, and a stack of pictures that I cut out of a magazine that I found, pictures of what I would imagine my dream home to look like. Is this still sounding like a court reporter's desk?

That makes me think about some early programs of Sesame Street back in the day when I was growing up. There was a song that said, “One of these things is not like the other.” It was a guessing game where you were supposed to detect an object that didn't belong in a category with other objects.

Well, guess which of those objects mentioned doesn't belong on my desk? Maybe the jacks and ball? Surely, the fairy dust, one might guess. The truth is everything on my desk actually belongs there. Those things that have nothing to do with my job are simply reminders for me to play, to take a break, to daydream a bit, to step away from the stress. In the middle of long workdays, with so much to do, so many deadlines, I can get so caught up, that I won’t even take a lunch break. I have decided I can do even better than assuring myself of a lunch break. I will allow myself some playtime. It's amazing what can be created in a couple of minutes with a little fairy dust while daydreaming over a favorite magazine. Feels like recess!

I CREATE MY DAY

Now, what kind of day will I have today? Who gets to decide? What will affect it? Who will "effect" it? There are so many Q & A's for the day. The real question is how am I going to respond to whatever happens today?

I am deciding right now that there is nothing that can happen, nothing that anyone can say, either too fast or too slow, too muffled or too angrily, that will throw me so far out that I can’t find my way back to that “home row” on that steno machine, that “home row” in my mind. Home row in my mind is where I realize that a hundred years from now it’s not going to change how the earth spins on its axis, and it’s where I realize that there’s a part of me that is resilient, untouched, by whatever happens today . Therefore I’ll just decide to relax and be joyful, no matter what!

My Employment is Good!

In this moment, I pause to remember the goodness that my job brings to my life experience. It’s good to be employed, and it’s great to perform a service that is so unique in the world and get paid for it. What a talent! What a gift! What a profession!

I am a part of a fabulous team that makes things happen – office staff, fellow reporters, attorneys, judges, bailiffs, clerks, proofreaders, scopists, attendants, associations, unions, even the janitorial services. The list is endless!

Sometimes it may seem as though somebody on the team is not recognizing who I am or appreciative of what I do, but my feelings immediately shift when I realize other people's actions are never about who I am or what I do. People are having good days and bad days, and their actions are based on what they experience in their own lives whether they are aware of it or not.

So I just keep those fingers flowing and keep my mind on doing a great job. I appreciate myself, and I value what I do. Court reporting, what an awesome adventure!

A SIMPLE ACKNOWLEDGMENT

Today I simply acknowledge my hands and fingers. I recognize and feel gratitude for the strong, easy and effortless motions that they make. I acknowledge them for the struggling efforts and sometimes downright clumsy efforts that they make upon the command of the human voice, determined to ingest every phonetic sound and syllable that moves in, around and through every fiber, muscle, cell, joint and sinew located in this mighty carpal structure to generate clear, concise, easily readable words.

I appreciate my hands and fingers, the entire orchestrated movement, the connection that it has with every voice that speaks in my courtroom. I am appreciative for the energy, agility, flexibility, strength and confidence that makes this happen for me and court reporters everywhere!

Sometimes a simple acknowledgement is all it takes to get me through "one more question" at the end of a long day.